I Am Grateful For...

This evening I've been feeling like I need to share my feelings and thoughts with someone. I thought about writing a short facebook post or just sharing my thoughts in an abandoned journal, but for some reason this felt like the right place. I'm not one for writing, and I liked to leave this blogging thing to Sean as he's much better with words than I am. I feel a little strange not sharing an update on our family since so much has changed since our last post. However, I feel like I need to share my testimony, and I'm not even sure why. I get uncomfortable standing in church to share my testimony, so I don't get the opportunity to do this often. Please ignore the MANY grammatical errors. I tried to type as fast as my thoughts were taking me, and I'm to tired to change them now. 

Lately life has been busy..with taking care of our son and home, preparing for another soon, Sean's work and school, and both of our callings. It amazes me the time we do get together. Sean is an amazing father and husband. I admire him so much for the real quality time he takes with us with everything else he has going on. I know he is constantly exhausted because of it, but that he does it because he feels it's important AND he loves us. In fact, right now has been asleep on the couch for at least an hour, while I will probably stay up for a couple more. Somehow he manages (most likely because he gets little sleep) to make time for the most important things in life. This morning for example he woke up early to attend the temple, came home for a short breakfast with us, then it was off to a midterm. When he came home he stopped for a bit to play with Colby, helped move some furniture in the boys' room, then was off again to the hardware store to get materials to do a repair on our home. After he came home we had an early dinner (mac and cheese because some days that's all we have time for). He took a quick nap while I got ready to go to the General Women's Meeting, then it was up again to watch Colby, do our nighttime routine alone and make sure Colby was in bed before I came home again. I would actually say that this was a more relaxing day for him than many.

Why did I share all of that? Mostly to remind myself of these times, as I know life will calm a bit for him in about a year. I want to remember the amazing things he does for us, and how much I appreciate him. I also am sharing to point out that our life is pretty great. That sounds a little prideful and arrogant, but here is what I mean. One of the things I love about my calling is putting together the newsletter every month for our Relief Society sisters. It gives me a chance to really go through previous Conference talks and select a message for that month. Once I find a talk that feels like it needs to be shared I get the chance to really read through it and pick what little bit I can that will fit on the page. It allows me to study the lesson and really think about what the message is that they have shared with us. This month I chose a talk by Elder Bednar from the April 2014 Conference called "Bear Up Their Burdens with Ease." He talks about the Atonement, how it is not just for us to live again, but to lift our burdens of all kinds. The last few years I have thought, "man.. we really don't have any trials. Nothing hard in our lives at all." But as I read this talk it made me think about my life a little different. This part especially made me think:

"Not only does the Atonement of Jesus Christ overcome the effects of the Fall of Adam and make possible the remission of our individual sins and transgressions, but His Atonement also enables us to do good and become better in ways that stretch far beyond our mortal capacities. Most of us know that when we do things wrong and need help to overcome the effects of sin in our lives, the Savior has made it possible for us to become clean through His redeeming power. But do we also understand that the Atonement is for faithful men and women who are obedient, worthy, and conscientious and who are striving to become better and serve more faithfully? I wonder if we fail to fully acknowledge this strengthening aspect of the Atonement in our lives and mistakenly believe we must carry our load all alone—through sheer grit, willpower, and discipline and with our obviously limited capacities.

It is one thing to know that Jesus Christ came to the earth to die for us. But we also need to appreciate that the Lord desires, through His Atonement and by the power of the Holy Ghost, to enliven us—not only to guide but also to strengthen and heal us."

I've experienced many times in my life the Atonement as a means of becoming clean, healing emotional and spiritual hurt, and mostly think of that when I think of the Atonement. However, choices I made lead me to a pretty great life. I have a wonderful husband who took me to the temple. He is a righteous Priesthood holder and constantly encourages us to be better. I can honestly say that life has been pretty easy and great with his encouragement and support to stay close to the Lord. I started to think "wow, our life is pretty easy." I realized as I read this talk though that life didn't suddenly get easy. It doesn't suddenly get easy especially when you throw a baby into the mix. Our lives haven't become easier each year that we've been married by chance. We've changed the last few years. Especially this last year with Colby, we've been more consistent with things like prayer, scripture study, and Family Home Evening. And I realized that this last year has been the easiest year we've had, yet it is the most hectic and busy year we've had. 

THAT is what the Atonement is in our lives right now, and I'm so grateful for our Savior. I'm grateful for the decision I made to marry someone who would take me to the temple and honor the Priesthood he holds. I grateful I decided to go to church and FHE where I met my eternal companion. I'm grateful he chose me and for the wonderful life we have together. I am grateful for his constant encouragement to do the things we need to remain close to the Lord. I am grateful for our beautiful children and the love and joy they bring to our lives. I'm grateful for the Saviors sacrifice that allows me to have a light load and enjoy every little bit of our crazy lives.